So anyway, I, or we’ve reached a bit of an impasse with my withdrawal plan. I’ve been tapering slowly and steadily every 5 or 6 weeks for the past 3+ years. I am now stuck at 1.5ml.
1.50mls!! have you thought about how teeny tiny that dose is every morning? At this stage of the game it would be SO easy and tempting for me to just stop dead, but I know from past experience that that way madness truly lies (and I don’t mean “The House of Fun”) and my current healthy mental state would unravel with the withdrawal. I proved countless times in the past that I am obviously very sensitive to SSRI reductions. It’s crazy how powerful this tiny drop of liquid is.
In many ways I am amazed that I ever got as far as I have, a few years ago I thought I was on Prozac for life, I thought that it wasn’t physically possible for me to cope with life without it, but deep down I could never truly accept that I would be on it for life, because of the side effects I’ve always had a very strong inner drive or compulsion to get myself off this stuff, it refused to go away no matter how much I tried to convince myself to stay on it. Some inner voice I couldn’t ignore kept telling me I needed to get off the pills and kept driving me on, and still does. I like to think I could be happy sticking with a low low dose but deep down I know I’m not really.
So anyway, after 3 months at this dose I am feeling that I would like to now proceed with another reduction, I am now very stable. Peter is very ambivalent about this and I think it’s the first time we’ve disagreed on this issue. I understand his point of view, we have been and still are under financial pressure and both working hard. He also has the pressure/burden of an industry exam to pass. He is also the one who has to cope with me when a withdrawal hits. The last time it happened I am embarrassed to admit I burst into tears in his office and I couldn’t stop, and there was no obvious reason, it was a withdrawal pure and simple, but I just couldn’t stop crying.
So there we are....an impasse.
Any comments welcome.
Prozac reduction timeline